Love and Travel Intertwined
I recently read an article about a honeymoon gone awry. Two newlyweds began a three month honeymoon/backpacking trip through South America and after only a few weeks into their trip, they decided to travel separately. Although they had been together for four years before tying the knot, it had only taken a few weeks in another continent to unravel the thread holding them together.
The couple met up for the last weekend and then flew home to begin their married lives. Surprisingly, once they settled back into their normal environment their marriage has continued to last. While reading this article, everything seemed so twisted around. I’ve always heard stories of people meeting abroad, falling in love and then going their separate ways. This story was completely the opposite, which led me to contemplate the role travel plays in romance.
I started looking back on my travels and remembering some of my own experiences. Literally the first night I was in London for my semester abroad I met a local Brit who I dated for about two months. He was 25 and had already traveled to more countries than I could count and I was a bright-eyed 21 year old who had never ventured outside of the U.S. I remember breaking up with him on Valentine’s Day. I know it sounds harsh, but I needed to be honest with myself and at that point in my life I just wanted to be selfish. I wanted to travel and be carefree and he obviously wanted something a little more serious. Now that I’m a few months shy of my 25th birthday, I can understand his perspective.
Then there was Francisco from Portugal. After stumbling off the plane and dropping off my luggage at a local hostel, I decided to explore the essentially desolate city of Faro. Looking and feeling disheveled, I made my way to a church that was one of the main tourist attractions in the area. There I met Riccardo and Francisco, who looked at me as though I was a ghost of some sort. I assumed it was because I had just come off the plane but they said it was because I had really light eyes, which in America is pretty normal. They then let me in for free and after I checked out the view of the harbour, they had decided that I was to be their new friend. Ignoring all the other tourists, they spent the entire afternoon with me getting cappuccinos, exploring the city, introducing me to their friends and teaching me Portuguese curse words. It was one of the best local experiences I ever had and it was completely unexpected.
Then it happened. Francisco confessed his love for me and his confusion about having a girlfriend and how to tell her it was over. I was probably the most confused in the situation, seeing as I had just met the man but I tried to play it off as a sweet gesture. Then he took my hand and started stroking the inside of it. Again, I didn’t know what that meant at the time and thought it was some sort of handshake that maybe was common in Portugal. It wasn’t. I suppose I could have had a little love affair with Francisco but it wasn’t in the cards for me. I kissed him on the cheek and continued on my journey, making it to Sevilla the next day.
After realizing that I am often viewed as exotic when I travel, I wasn’t surprised when my Machu Picchu guide developed a slight crush on me. I forget his name but I remember him literally running up Wayna Picchu in his bright red poncho to search for an item I had lost along the way. It sort of reminded me of that scene in The Emperor’s New Groove when the llama sprints up the mountain. Anyway, about an hour later he came back with my bag in hand and completely soaked from the rain. Before heading to Bolivia, he invited my friend and I to stay with him or at least visit his house in the future. It was a nice gesture but I knew it probably wouldn’t happen.
So from these different experiences I find myself wondering if there is a deeper meaning to be found from romances abroad. I think meeting people from different countries is all part of the growing process. There’s an element of escapism in both parties. You are traveling somewhere new, experiencing a different culture and meeting people that are exotic to you and vice versa. Not to say that romances abroad can’t last, because some certainly do, but I find that they are often short lived.
I’ve started to believe that timing plays a huge role in who we are attracted to and who we ultimately end up with. For me, travel is all about self-discovery and challenging the way you view the world. Everyone I have met along the way has in some way contributed to a higher sense of awareness within myself, and for that I am grateful. Perhaps there are people you are destined to know forever and others who cross your path at a specific time and place, however random these occurrences may seem.
Image via procsilas‘ flickr stream
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26 Comments
I love this… I have experienced this when I traveled too…
So glad the article made you think of your own travel experiences too
Megan Eileen McDonough recently posted..5 Adventurous Excursions in the Philippines
I’ve experienced similar situation when travelling. Sometimes I feel as though relationships I’ve had overseas are disposable and other times I can’t get the person out of my head.
So true Sam! I’ve had the same experience while traveling.
Megan Eileen McDonough recently posted..5 Adventurous Excursions in the Philippines
so far i’m still living out my travel romance a year and half later
That’s awesome Alex – hope it’s still going strong!
Megan Eileen McDonough recently posted..5 Adventurous Excursions in the Philippines
I love looking back at all the romance I’ve had on the road! I wish I could bottle up the carefree-ness I have while traveling and bring THAT home with me as the souvenir. Sigh. Enjoy!
So true Abby – There is such a carefree feeling while falling in love on the road. I wish I could bottle it up too.
Megan Eileen McDonough recently posted..5 Adventurous Excursions in the Philippines
Love on the road is fun. When I was younger, I often got too attached to people though and had a hard time forgetting about them after I got home.
Same thing has happened to me…it’s a tough balance to find.
I’ve loved those fleeting love moments with other people. You are so right, each one has contributed to my own sense of self awareness. Every person you meet is there to teach you something
Very true – you learn so much along the way! Every person is there for a reason.
Megan Eileen McDonough recently posted..5 Adventurous Excursions in the Philippines
Both of my daughter fell in love with Greek boys on our trip to Mykonos. Lots of tears when we left Greece.
Reminds me of the movie, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants! One of them falls in love with a Greek boy. I had a similar experience with just about every Italian boy in Rome haha
Absolutely. Timing is everything – even when you’re travelling. My wife and I met as avid travellers but now we’ve settled down in Colombia. We have a video about it all, too:
http://seecolombia.travel/blog/2012/02/happy-valentines-day-from-colombia-a-perfect-day-to-share-our-travelers-wedding-proposal-video/
Love it!
Megan recently posted..Off to Norway With A Hitch
Just love your story.
I haven’t had this experience but I love the way you said “Everyone I have met along the way has in some way contributed to a higher sense of awareness within myself”. It’s just so true.
Bang@Australia Study recently posted..Student Travel: Manly Beach
Thanks so much! I think many people have similar stories from traveling so it’s always interested to hear feedback from others.
Megan recently posted..Circus Hostel Berlin
I am currently in a situation like this. I leave Indonesia to go back to England in 2 months, and have been seeing a local for 2 months…I can feel the pain approaching just around the corner. I hope that he will ‘contribute to a higher sense of awareness within me’ and that I’m doing the right thing by leaving.
But, I have to be realistic: different religions, different cultures, different continents. Gaahh!
It’s a tough call Emma but I’m sure you will figure out the right answer for you!
Megan Eileen McDonough recently posted..Neighborhood Guide to Helsinki
What is the article you read that inspired you to write this? I’d be interested in seeing it. Thanks!
It was an article I read in a magazine over a year ago while working out at the gym
Unfortunately I cannot remember it now!
Megan Eileen McDonough recently posted..Awesome Norwegian Art Oddities
Found it (i think…)! http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/relationship-issues/honeymoon-from-hell
Wow – yes this is it! I’m glad you found it because I couldn’t remember it myself.
Megan Eileen McDonough recently posted..A Bohemian Weekend in Paris
absolutely stunning read. met my own match for the first time, well, haha it didnt work out.
but there’s definitely a thrill to it, a novelty even, that draws you in.
there are days where i’d hoped i havent met that person, but i couldnt have imagined that place without that particular person. he made the country, what the country means to me.
cheers!
Thanks so much for your feedback Nesh and for sharing your personal story! I agree – the people we meet while traveling definitely impact how we view our entire trip.
Megan Eileen McDonough recently posted..5 Adventurous Excursions in the Philippines