Bohemian Musings
Before starting Bohemian Trails and pursuing a career in travel writing, I worked a 9-5 job and often found myself craving alone time. I’d leave work and head straight to a concert or fashion event and not arrive to my apartment until after midnight. I’d wake up the next morning and start the same routine. Granted, this routine was exciting but it left little time for…myself.
I worked at an international record label so naturally, it was a social environment and luckily most of my co-workers were pleasant to be around. However, I’m an introvert my nature and found myself sometimes leaving the office during my lunch break just to walk around or sit on a park bench. I craved alone time and since my life was busy before, during, and after work, it was hard to find time for myself.
Fast forward to nearly a year later and I can’t believe how much my life has changed and I’m grateful to say that these changes are all positive. My ultimate goal was to find a way to do what I love most: travel and write. I wanted a lifestyle where I could live wherever I wanted and where I didn’t have to report to an office each day. After working harder than I’ve ever done in my life to launch Bohemian Trails, find paid writing gigs and market myself as a brand, I’m finally starting to see the rewards of my efforts.
Yet, now that I spend most of my time alone, I’m often in need of more social interaction. After a summer spent visiting family back home and then traveling to South America and Mexico, I could not wait to return to New York City to see all my friends. When I first moved to New York more than two years ago I knew absolutely nobody and I was forced to make friends the hard way – by putting yourself out there and leaving your shyness at the door. I managed to make quality friends who I was eager to re-connect with upon my return.
I’ve been back in New York now for about four months now and I’ve barely seen any of these people. Most of them came to my 25th brunch party but one-on-one time has been limited. While I wasn’t necessarily expecting people to fight over my time, I also wasn’t expecting that I’d be the only one constantly reaching out. I could blame it on the busy schedules that all New York City residents have, but I’ve found that when you want to see somebody or do something, you find a way to make it happen. It’s sad in a way, although I don’t fault my friends for having other priorities.
I first wondered if this was happening because I have a boyfriend. I’ve had friends in the past who had trouble balancing their love life with their social life and as a result, I felt ditched as a friend. Because I’m sensitive about this, I’ve tried really hard to not be that girl and to reach out to my friends whenever I can. At the same time, it’s hard to keep extending my hand and receiving nothing in return. On the other hand, there are times when I feel too anti-social to see people myself, so perhaps it does go both ways.
So who am I spending most of my time with? Well other than myself, I’ve been meeting people at my Spanish classes and at my local coffee shops. I’ve also established new friendships with people in the travel industry – both in person and online. It’s nice being located in New York because a lot of travel related events take place here. I regularly meet with Galding, NOFF, Tripfilms and other bloggers.
What I never expected was to establish solid friendships through social media and emails with other bloggers. Spending so much time alone yet having this support system has been invaluable to me. Maybe these new friendships have formed because my own priorities have also shifted. I’m working for myself now and working harder than I ever imaged I could. Meeting other people in similar situations helps me think that maybe my dreams aren’t so crazy after all.
Press trip to Los Cabos, Mexico
My only hope through all of this is that I continue to appreciate the truly important people in my life and never give up on trying to re-connect. This bohemian will be traveling a good deal this year and I’m determined to maintain my friendships at home and make new friendships abroad. Despite feeling lonely sometimes, the New York City streets somehow soothe my saddest thoughts. This is the same when I travel. A simple walk around a new city or town helps me in ways that other things can’t.
At the end of the day I’m happier than I’ve ever been and the people I value most in this world are who I keep close.
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18 Comments
I can relate to what you’re going through because I went through the same a few years ago. There’s something that just happens in life where eventually a big group of friends whittles down and you’re left with maybe a couple really close ones. Like you said, it’s no ones fault really, it’s just life.. I wish I lived in a place like New York where there was more opportunity to network in person with other travel bloggers. Sadly, I think I’m the only one in my town:)
D.J. – The World of Deej recently posted..A Visit to the Best Hotels in Barcelona – Guest Review
You are so right. It’s nobody’s fault and things like this happen. New York certainly is a great city to meet other bloggers and writers, however it can also be a lonely place. Let me know the next time you visit!
Megan recently posted..Bohemian Musings
Hi Megan! Love your site… you’re very full of spirit! I met up with Mike from 1000fights.com today (we’re both Idaho bloggers who know each other through a mutual friend!) and he mentioned that you & I would really hit it off! Thought I’d say hello. Will you be in NY anytime soon?
Great journey you’re on; I’ll be following along!
Therese
Therese recently posted..Why Your Networking Sucks Balls
Hey Therese nice to meet you! Mike is awesome and I’m so glad he recommended that we connect. I live in NYC so I’m here most of the time…except when I’m traveling of course. Feel free to email me: megan@bohemiantrails.com
Megan recently posted..Bohemian Musings
I feel so lucky to have the group of friends I do, people who I have known for so long where I can just appear after two years being AWOL and everything is pretty much the same as it was before. Well, sure, some of them have kids now, and obviously their lives move on, but I always feel loved and welcome. Making new friendships whilst constantly travelling can be a challenge, but it’s not insurmountable
Laurence recently posted..Face off: five European cities duel to the death
It’s great that you are able to come home and pick up with friends like no time has passed. I have friends like that but many of them live in other cities or even countries so it’s harder when I’m not always able to see them face to face. Thanks for sharing your experience Laurence
Megan recently posted..Bohemian Musings
I’m inspired by your blog. I think that being alone is a good way to know what you really want for yourself. I like this post, great!
Glad you like the site Brigitte!
Megan recently posted..Bohemian Musings
Megan, thank you for the post and the honesty. i def hear what you are saying. Im actually solo at a bar right now catching up on your posts after working solo all night on a project. remember how much traveling means to you and stay the happy person you are. its all worth it in the end….
Thanks so much David! Trying to make these posts a bit more personal
Email me one of these days – would love to know what you’ve been up to.
Megan recently posted..Bohemian Musings
It is really interesting how much friendships have changed since I got into this world. Now, I have friends all over the world, some I have never met but count among some of the VIPs in my life. Sadly, many of the people I am friends with in my day-to-day life are not people I see a lot anymore, or talk to a lot anymore. We still love each other, but as I’ve grown more into this world, they have grown in their own, too. I hope to meet you one day! I think the friendships we make in this world are special and unique — they truly are based on having one of the biggest part of our lives in common.
dtravelsround recently posted..5 ways to beat being homesick
I would love to meet you too! I feel the exact same way as what you just described. A lot of my good friends live in other parts of the world and other new friendships are with travelers I have yet to meet. It’s nice to know that others feel the same
Megan recently posted..Bohemian Musings
Love this piece! I completely relate about being lonely in NYC; it’s an amazing city, but can sometimes feel extremely overwhelming. Shocked to hear you’re an introvert by nature–you seem like such a risk-taker and fairly outgoing. I think this site will prove to be an awesome way for you to keep old connections and make new ones. Keep up the amazing work! =)
Thanks so much Kay! I’ve gotten a little less shy but when I was younger I was painfully quiet
Thanks for the encouragement 
Megan recently posted..Why Travel Writing is Misunderstood
Sorry to hear you’ve experienced such disappointment with some of your old friendships in NYC. Even in a smaller city like Columbus, I know it is easy to get caught up and become “too busy.” But you are right that we can always make time for the people that matter most. I think that as we get older, the number of friends we have goes down but the quality of those relationships increases exponentially.
Stephanie – The Travel Chica recently posted..Tragedy in Torres del Paine: Stories from the Park
I definitely feel the same – I probably have fewer friends in recent years but those friendships are of a higher quality – and I guess in the end that is what matters. Life certainly gets busy and I’m a victim of it too but I try to reach out whenever I can
Megan recently posted..Review – Timeshares and Travel
I think this is something many people suffer from if they travel a lot. It’s not just that friends back home move on, it’s also that you grow as a person and previous relationships are looked at in a new light.
Ultimately, though, you always know who your real friends are and when you see them after time apart it’s like you had never left!
Turtle recently posted..Turtle versus the volcano
Very true – could not have summed it up better than that!
Megan recently posted..Famous Faces of Norway